I hoped the day wouldn’t come that I’d have to start over again for the bajillionth time on another weight-loss journey but it has. I’m surprisingly not feeling as awful as it seems I should… of course if I’d been writing this a month or two ago I probably wouldn’t have been as chipper. And why “should” I feel awful?!? Today, I’m motivated and as much as I’d love to stay that way, I’m going to be smart and take it one day at a time. And if that means re-focusing DAILY then I’ll re-focus daily.
I learned something very interesting in my weight loss challenge two weeks ago. It was very profound and something I hadn’t considered before. A fellow challenge member was telling a story about something she had thought that by now she had overcome but realized she hadn’t. After her story (which had to deal with making a wise decision to go for a walk to deal with frustration rather than eating a whole pie – low fat/cal or not), my coach said, “we have to keep in mind that there is no ultimate achievement of perfection”. At first I was mystified (and horrified) by what that might mean and he clarified by saying that emotional eating (or “eating your feelings” as a friend of mine calls it) is something that we will always have to battle. We may be able to succeed at getting rid of our excess weight and having the health we desire, but we will always be challenged by our emotions. It’s not as much of a downer as it sounds, it just means that we have to let go of the expectation that once we achieve our desired health/weight/size, it doesn’t mean we are “cured”. So we have to have plans in place for WHEN, not “if”, we become overwhelmed by our circumstances and are faced with an opportunity to make a very unwise eating decision. From hearing her tell the story, it sounded like my fellow challenge member had made going for a walk her plan for so long it was almost instinctual. THAT is encouraging.
So I started a new weight loss challenge today. The last one (the past 12 weeks) was like an opportunity for me to figure out whether or not I’m really serious about this. I thought I was 12 weeks ago, but my weight essentially remained the same – anything I lost (no more than 3 pounds total) I regained. And the same with inches so it’s not like I can say, “Woo-hoo! I gained muscle!” Today I woke up unnaturally early, made myself look (and feel) pretty, drove my husband to work, and arrived at the challenge a whole 40 minutes early. BTW – I’m always late so that was a big deal. I have been in a fabulous mood all day (which has not been normal for quite some time), I have eaten very well, and I have made a commitment to win this challenge. We have to pay in to the challenge in order to win and so on the memo line of my check (where I normally write what the check is for) I wrote “for WINNING!!”
I know that a huge part of weight loss is actually nutrition-based instead of exercise-based. But an even huger part of the whole picture is the mental part – the affirmation, confidence, and “take charge” attitude. I’ve done this before and I know when my head is in the right place, I am unstoppable. So I’m thankful to have started today with that kind of clarity of focus and attitude.
My goal for this challenge is to lose 25 pounds. That should put me comfortably back in the clothes I’ve been attempting to squeeze myself into. My ultimate goal is to lose about 48 pounds… I think. I know what I want to look like but don’t know exactly how that translates into a weight. I plan to lose about 2 lbs per week for the next 24 weeks, which is exactly 2 more challenges with me staying on track. It is possible it will take less time – if I overestimated the amount of weight I need to lose.
So my check-in for today is that I feel great and am motivated. A bit ago I felt hungry after eating a full meal so that was discouraging, but I drank some water and distracted myself with a game and got through it. Tonight I will make a menu/meal plan for the week and a shopping list so that tomorrow I can buy what I need.